MPR Question Post

MPR had the daily question: "What would you like to hear in the President's speech tonight". I was listening to the call-in for a few minutes, and of course the MPR callers were all over the "less dependence on oil, force BP to do this and that, make sure people know it is all the Republican's fault, etc". I thought I'd take a shot at dream Presidential speech writing:

I have finally realized that I'm a narcissistic fool and my background is completely inadequate for the job of President. I humbly admit my error, and submit my resignation effective as of midnight tonight. I may not be exceptional, but I finally realize that this Nation and it's people are!

Being elected President was another of the many undeserved honors in my life, but I have finally realized that rhetoric is not reality and looking or sounding good is not the same thing as being good.

I was bequeathed leadership of a great nation with problems. Problems which I thought were simple, the result of incompetence or malfeasance. I now realize that problems are part of reality. Real people have to deal with them every day, and they must honor those with the capability to do so, especially when they themselves do not.

Those that DO will always have problems to deal with. Those that chatter and criticize may have less problems, but I now realize that we chattering classes also have very little of value to be offered. America has been and with Gods help, will be again in the future, a nation of DOERS!
BP and the rest of the oil industry has the tools and technology to deal with the spill. The US government does not. It was nothing but hubris for me to ever indicate anything else. The idea that I have any knowledge of use in plugging the well is at best a cruel joke.

I now realize that all my tough talk about kicking asses and criminal prosecution does nothing to make the problem better and everything to inhibit the problem from being solved. I made those moves purely in political interest, as I have made every other move of my life in the past decade or more. The environment and the economy are more important that politics.

I know now that i have severe personal problems that I need to focus on fixing. I also realize that the political selection of Joe Biden as a running mate was yet another of my mistakes. I submit that Hillary Clinton should succeed me, and in the interests of bi-partisanship, John McCain should be named VP.

Thank you, good night, and may God bless the greatest nation on earth.