Automated Voting, It's Time

The voting so far: Not so hot for Republicans | The CLog | Creative Loafing Charlotte:

Why should anything in life require any effort at all? I mean if there are any form of "standards", specific dates and locations for an activity, or even some minimal action required that may interrupt daytime TV, video games, being drunk or stoned, or some other "individual choice of activity", isn't that "unfair"?  It is worse than unfair, it is suppression!

It seems that we have reached a national, and increasingly SCOTUS supported standard where voting must require less effort than taking a dump.  Will there be a universal right to have somebody show up with a bedpan to make that horrible burden of nature less onerous? It seems strangely likely these days.

I was expecting to be out of town on election day, so clicked a couple of screens and got my pre-addressed fully paid return envelope and ballot mailed to me. In the past I've (horrors!) trundled down to the massive Taj Mahal like Government Center to have them hand me a ballot -- no ID required of course. That would be "voter suppression"!

Why DO we actually have people take the effort to fill in their ballots? We know that Blacks for example vote like 93% Democrat, Felons are even higher percentage D voters, and the Dead are 100% -- it is convenient that the election is so close to Halloween, it means that the non-living don't need to go to the trouble of coming out twice! I suspect they likely hang around Democrat HQ in the interim days till the election where they probably fit right in with the low energy / low information / low hygiene standard. Oh wait, they can just vote early now.

Perhaps the whole Zombie thing was just some of the more enterprising departed going out door knocking with the rest of the D's in the bad old days prior to early voting  -- it would be completely non-PC to make any comments about "rotten appearance" (and I do mean rotten). Perhaps convenience is the ultimate good? -- so fitting after all the time that philosophers and sages wasted trying to discover "the good" over thousands of years. Plato was a putz.

The linked article helpfully points out that the no effort, no ID, no specific date voting is overwhelmingly Democrat. Wow, now there is a shocking news item!!!

 The Dead vote 100% Democrat, I'd guess the comatose are at least 99% D ... one could likely run a scale from the Dead, through the comatose, illegals, felons, unemployed, uneducated, stoned, drunk, etc ...  to the most active, moral, focused, employed, attentive, regular church attending, etc which would be 100% Republican. We have the statistics, we know how everyone votes -- take a look at how they line up with cable networks and shows http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2014/10/16/the-cable-networks-that-draw-the-most-partisan-ads-arent-the-ones-you-expect/ ... 93% of the political ads on E! are for D's. I think we knew that already.

Oh, and the imaginary voters ... the kind that only exist as ballots that  show up in big boxes in back rooms or trunks of cars, or as the other couple thousand ballots from a building that has a couple hundred real residents  --- they seem to vote 100% D as well. I'm certain that MANY of the imaginary voters are really enjoying the convenience provided by all the early / easy / no id / mail in / etc voting!

Perhaps we ought to survey them? BTW, none of that is "evidence of vote fraud", because you can't PROVE that those ballots in the trunk of the car were not legit, nor that there really were not a couple thousand real voters that filled out the building address by mistake. How WOULD you prove it? No ID's required anywhere through the process -- no way to trace any of the ballots to a voter. PERFECT! "No evidence of fraud"!

But can't we do better?  YES WE CAN! We are the people we have been waiting for!  We  can just automate it. Sorta like Google Drive for voting.

Maybe the networks still want to have people staying up late and watching beer commercials on election night, and I suppose that the influx of money for negative ads prior to the election is a boost (Joni Ernst and Scott Walker are cannibals! Can't do without that "information") But we can cover that. Just print up a few more pallets of money and ship it to the networks / cable every election year -- THEY are certainly at least 90% reliable D's, they deserve the extra cash.

The ultimate good is convenience and ease. Everyone should have a HS diploma, heck, why not a college degree? Maybe a Masters or a PHD -- seems "unfair", "elitist" and "unequal" to deny what can clearly be a self esteem booster. Guaranteed income is a great idea -- why not make it at least a million? Hell, why think small?? What are Gates and Buffet worth these days? $60B or so? Let's make that the BOTTOM wealth in America!!!

Let's vote on it.

Oh, and please warm up the bedpans -- anything less would be "suppression".


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